


Momentum

by Leyenn



Series: Vertigo [1]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Other, Plot What Plot, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-18
Updated: 2009-11-18
Packaged: 2017-10-03 06:40:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leyenn/pseuds/Leyenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is not quite how she ever intended her life to end up, but it's very hard to regret it at moments like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Momentum

**Author's Note:**

> Set just prior to an AU of _Tapestry_.

_This isn't how it's supposed to work._

_It's certainly not the way my Nana raised me. When I was a little girl she would sit me down in front of a roaring fire and tell me the most wonderful stories about how she met my grandfather, how happy my parents had been, and how one day she was sure I'd meet a lovely young boy (I remember being about thirteen at the time) and I'd know myself what it was like, then. Of course being thirteen I believed her... then I met Jack and I knew she'd been right all along._

_Nana loved Jack, doted on Wesley every time she came to visit. She loved that I'd found someone, not to mention that she'd been proved right, although she did wish I'd picked someone with a slightly better sense of humor._

Laughter tickles at the back of her neck, Will Riker sweeping thick auburn hair back with one hand. "You're a little distracted tonight," he murmurs into a kiss. "Something wrong?"

She lowers her head, shivering at the caress and smiling. "I'm fine... just thinking."

_Nana would like the man stretched out in my bed now, I think. I hope. I haven't quite found the courage to explain it to her yet._

_How do you explain to the woman who raised you why you're living a life like this?_

Will grins. "Something in particular?"

"Nothing new," she admits, in complete truth. He hums in understanding and goes back to being far too distracting in his own right, laying a trail of kisses along her naked shoulder. For a touch she'd never, ever expected to want, it feels incredibly erotic...

_Nana liked Jean-Luc as well, the few times they met, before Jack's passing and a few more times after. Those were always a little strained - not least, looking back on it, because I think she saw what we tried to ignore a lot clearer than we did. There were nights in front of that flicking fire when she'd tell me new stories about how sorry she was, but how I needed to move on with my life, and what a lovely young gentleman that Johnny Picard seemed to be..._

_Even though she could care less about Starfleet she was pleased when I got the posting here. I guessed why. I think even Wesley guessed why. I think it made him a little uncomfortable, but then, what about his mother's private life doesn't make a fifteen-year-old uncomfortable?_

The beard tickles a little; she laughs under her breath and turns her head, pushing him backwards onto the sheets as she rolls over and traps him there in a kiss. Will Riker kisses like a man born for command - deep, passionate, thorough, attentive enough to know that right now if he wants her full attention - and he does, Will always does, except -

Oh, but he's smart enough to know that if he tangles a hand in her hair and bites down on her lip, only a little playful, she'll forget the end of that thought. She'll moan in the back of her throat, the way she can feel herself doing now, and press closer to him, wrap her leg around his the way she does now and grin into his hungry mouth.

_My Nana is still one of the wisest and most perceptive women I've ever known, but she'd never guess this._

_Then again, it wasn't what I had in mind when I chose the _Enterprise_, either._

Fingertips graze the small of her back; a moment later, a soft hand smoothes up her spine and the bed shifts beneath them both. Warmth glides under her skin and into her mind, like being dipped in sunlight from the inside out; she still doesn't quite hear or feel it as easily as he can, but it's near enough when the feeling comes through naked skin on hers.

Will smiles into the kiss, and she feels him hold up his free hand in support and invitation. Weight moves and she moans sharper when there's suddenly another body pressed gently against her back, soft breasts and perfect smooth skin, and her body reacts the way it always does to those fingers stroking down her arm.

Deanna's voice is low and knowing in her ear, filled with a smile. "Ithái, what's bothering you?"

_It's hard to think about the fact that she's twelve years my junior - that she was twelve years old when Jack and I married. Will would only have been a year older. It doesn't feel that way at all._

_In truth, it just doesn't feel like it matters. Deanna Troi is the most perceptive woman I've ever known. There are days when I feel like the youngest mind in this bed, if not the youngest body. Then again, I guess I am, at least when it comes to... this._

Will pulls his head back to let her answer, stroking his hand over her cheek. Deanna's perceptive, all right, but she's not the only one.

She sighs. One of the few downsides - very few - to this relationship, it's impossible to hide anything for very long. Funny that she'd always thought of this kind of... well, she's not sure how she'd thought of it, except not as a relationship, but this is definitely long past the 'arrangement' stage. Deanna loves Will, because Deanna can't not love Will and he can't not love Deanna; they're supposed to be together, she understands that's simply how it is.

But they both love her, too. In a way that's no less valid, no less real or intense or knee-weakening than what they've shared for years, even if it's different.

_I never planned to be in love with anyone after Jack. I guess you don't. Obviously Jean-Luc never stopped being the attractive gentleman who wouldn't make a pass even if I stood in front of him naked (which I've never done, not that I haven't thought about it in the last few years), but that was all. I met men, occasionally, but I had Wes to think about - it's hard to be impulsive at love when you're wondering what your son will think._

_I'm not sure when I stopped worrying about that... and then I met Odan._

Deanna's smile widens, very close to her skin, close enough that she almost shivers, a hand covering hers and pressing her palm to Will's chest.

"I thought you'd been distracted today." That low voice in her ear. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She looks down into blue eyes and Will tucks her hair back, mirroring the concern she can feel behind her. It's still a little strange to _feel_ the subtle play of emotion skitter across her nerves, but it feels good. Comfortable. Right.

"Nana sent me a letter this morning." She doesn't want to admit that it still makes her consider-

"You think about this every time," he says, concern in his expression. "Beverly, you should tell her."

"What is it you think she'll say?" Deanna's tone is so similar to Will's, she gets that eerie feeling of one person in two places that sometimes floats to the surface. It should feel like an exclusion; it doesn't. It's comforting, wonderful, sometimes makes her giddy to be so completely surrounded by these two lovers who mean so much to her now.

"I don't know." She sighs again and puts her head on Will's shoulder, pressing her forehead against his neck. He kisses her temple and Deanna squeezes her hand.

"Surely she'd be glad that you're happy?"

"I don't know," she mutters again. "I wish I did, it would make this easier..." She's showed Deanna the letters occasionally, when she's felt brave enough to think about a reply that somehow phrases _'Nana, I've fallen in love - with my best friend who once had my alien lover implanted in her body, and Jean-Luc's first officer who happens to be her soulmate,'_ in a way that might sound normal from the other side. She's never managed to make the words right yet.

_Nana would like them both, I know that. I do know that. Will would charm her the way he charms any woman with a pulse, and Deanna - well, it's so hard not to like Deanna, Nana wouldn't waste the effort. I don't know if she'd understand, but she wouldn't reject me for it. I'm sure of that._

_So am I not telling her because I don't want to admit this is what it is... because I don't want to admit it might be what Jack was?_

_Why don't I want to put it in words that I love these two people the way I loved my husband?_

Deanna strokes her wrist softly, exactly as soothing as she needs. Always. "You know why, Beverly."

She turns her head in surprise - it's still not often that Deanna can read a thought in her mind, even if it's that clear. Deanna smiles at her.

"This is the third month in a row we've been through this," she says, and there's a hint of exasperation, a slight ache under the words, that Beverly isn't sure is heard and not felt.

"I'm sorry." She kisses Will quickly as she rolls over, wanting to look into those dark eyes and make Deanna see that. He wraps his arms around her waist from behind as she reaches out to pull Deanna close. Gentle fingertips caress her hair, Deanna smiling even despite the frustration.

"If you don't want to tell her yet, you don't have to."

"I want to tell him," she says, fast and quiet and not realising the slip until it's too late to keep Will from chuckling without humor, Deanna's smile turning rueful against a sigh.

"Beverly."

"I'm sorry." On this it's more than an apology. "It just feels..."

"I know." Deanna shakes her head without letting her force herself into saying it. "We both do, you know that."

"It's your call." Will kisses her shoulder. "I'll speak to him, if you want me to."

_I never meant to really, really fall in love again. Not with these two people. Not with any two people. I never meant to feel this way because Will touches me, or just because Deanna's here. Of course I've dealt with other races who love like this - I've had Andorian staff before who were married, but it's different when it's all Human and Betazoid... When it's me._

_Deanna Troi and Will Riker and Beverly Crusher. A lot more complicated than a xenosociology text._

"No." She closes her eyes for a moment not to look at the sympathy and sadness in Deanna's gaze. They've been through this a dozen times; she's tried a dozen times to tell him, but the words never come.

_Jean-Luc..._

_Jean-Luc, there's something I need to tell you._

_Jean-Luc, I've been attracted to you for twenty-five years, and I think you wish I'd admit it to you, but the truth is I'm having sex with your Counselor and your First Officer. Not usually one at a time._

_Jean-Luc, there's something - I've been meaning to -_

_Jean-Luc... I've fallen in love. No, I didn't know it was possible to love two people like this, either. But it is._

Suddenly she doesn't want to think about it any more. That's always how it happens: circles of emotion, from the guilt to the discomfort to the fear that this isn't something he could understand... from that the hurt, the defiance, then the anger that she can't focus because she can't _tell_ him, and that brings on the guilt again until she can't stand how much of Jean-Luc Picard is in this room when he doesn't even know it. There's only so much she can cope with, as much as she cares about him.

They'd all hate lying to their Captain, they knew that from the beginning. But it's not lying, strictly, to simply not mention it... to occasionally admit she's having breakfast with Deanna if he asks, and not point out that it's in Will's quarters, that's the extent of what any of them allow.

It scares her that she could lose him because she has them. It scares Will that he'll lose his Captain's trust, might lose his position, lose them both in the process. It scares Deanna to face the thought of being rejected for who she is, what she is, because love like this is as natural as breathing to her... so somehow it's been over a year and they've still kept this between them, for the most part.

_Except for Data. Except for Wesley. Except for Geordi and Ro and the half dozen other people who've noticed -_

Deanna kisses her.

As distractions from coherent thought go, it's very effective. Deanna tastes faintly of earlier coffee and chocolate, lingering on her tongue as she teases it playfully between Beverly's parted lips. That soft mouth moves against hers, slower than Will's but no less wonderful, and definitely no less passionate. Deanna tightens fingers in her hair and purrs into her mouth, and the sensation of that sound ripples down her spine and makes her shudder against the strong arms wrapped around her waist.

"Beverly," a breathless murmur into her mouth, gently pleading, and she lets her fingers curl into loose dark hair in return.

_Deanna,_ she thinks, wanting so much for it to get through and to feel even the edge of that caress in her head. _Please. Please._

"She doesn't want to hurt you," Will whispers into her ear, and she breaks the kiss to gasp for an answer.

"It doesn't hurt..."

"It could." Deanna strokes her hair back, lays a tender hand against her face. "Let me go slowly, ithái, please. One step at a time."

"Not tonight," she breathes with another kiss. "Not tonight, please..."

Deanna sighs, smiles and touches her lips with a thumb. "Okay."

"Okay?" Will's drawing absent patterns on her neck and shoulders with his tongue, distracting her on purpose just because he wants to, and it's working well enough that Deanna's touch grazing her lips is almost an overload of sensation.

"Yes, I give in." Deanna's smile is bright with reflected emotion, but still gentle as she leans down. "I will, tonight, I promise. Just relax..." and then they're kissing again, with Will nibbling at her neck and his fingers tangled in Deanna's hair.

_I never gave serious thought to being with women, romantically. I dabbled a little in my youth and the sex was good - actually the sex was great, some of it. But romantically, it was always men. Then when I was with Jack I never looked anywhere else, male or female, Human or otherwise._

_So it took me a little by surprise that the first time Deanna kissed me, the first time it was completely Deanna... I wondered why I'd never thought of loving another woman when it felt like this._

_Then again, I'd never given any serious thought to sharing myself between two lovers, either..._

Will strokes his hand down her stomach from behind, rolls over a little closer to them. She feels his hand tighten behind Deanna's head, his kisses trailing down the side of her own throat; she hums softly and Deanna kisses her harder, biting gently at her lower lip.

Will makes a quiet sound, nearly a growl. "You two know how arousing it is to watch you like this?"

Deanna smirks into her mouth; if she wanted to stop she'd tell him yes, because watching him with Deanna is just as erotic, not that he doesn't know that.

From the low chuckle in her ear she's fairly sure that Deanna tells him anyway. She reaches back, stroking her hand down the curve of his ass and pulling him against her: he's almost hard against the back of her thigh, groaning softly at the contact. "Beverly-"

She pulls her mouth from Deanna's, turning her head a little; soft lips trail down her neck to let her catch her breath and more importantly, tease their lover a little more. She pulls him forward again and rocks her hips back, gives him an innocent smile. "Yes, Commander?"

He snorts at that, burying a groan in her hair. "Damn, what happened to thinking?"

"I don't want to think," she breathes back, tightens her fingers on his skin. "Just want to feel you, both of you."

"Inside you?" he murmurs, and damn that voice is sexy, she wonders how she spent five years not knowing he could be that gentle and that arousing at the same time.

"Yes," she's barely said it before Deanna's hand slips down and cups her breast, teasing a thumb against her nipple, sending a tingle of pleasure across her skin as Will nudges his own hand between her thighs. "Oh, yes..." She can't remember how one lover was ever enough right now. She wants that caress just a little harder and Deanna can tell, knows that she'll squirm and gasp in delight if it's replaced by an attentive tongue as that hand moves over her skin instead. Her nipple tightens in Deanna's mouth and she moans softly, arching her back, letting her eyes slip closed as Deanna suckles harder.

"Mm... Deanna..."

"Mmmm..." A hum of pleasure that's almost a laugh at the way her voice catches. Will chuckles, rubbing his fingers slowly on the inside of her thigh.

"Does that feel the way it looks?"

She swallows hard. "If it looks... _oh_..." Deanna bites hard and quick at just the tip of her nipple and she writhes, gasping. "_God_... how does it look...?"

It's not possible that his voice is even more arousing when he admits it in a growl into her hair. "I want to come just watching you."

Heat flares around her clit and she moans out loud without even trying to choke it back. "_Will_..."

Deanna's said something: she can tell from the sudden purpose in his touch and buries her fingers in dark hair in silent thanks when he tugs her leg up to have access and his other hand moves down past her stomach, fingers scratching feather-light through her wet curls... and then one fingertip just eases inside her, testing, wanting to be sure.

"More than ready," she gasps, answering the silent question. "You _know_ I am... god, Will, stop it..." She wants, _needs_, anything, _everything_, and he's almost shaking against her back.

Deanna looks up and meets her eyes. "Will," she murmurs. "You want to. Slowly," and she shifts up to stroke Beverly's hair back from her temple in subtle preparation, a touch only her lovers would understand. "Beverly..."

She nods; captures Deanna's other hand over her breast, her heart thudding hard enough to feel through that touch.

Will is hard, thick, full as he presses against her sex and she gasps, arches her hips; Will inside her has always been incredible, from the first time. He's larger than Jack was, than most of the men she's been with - she knew that from Deanna, a long time before finding herself looking down into his eyes and feeling him do this - but he knows, _sweet god_ he knows how to use it, how good it feels when he holds her hips, forces her still like this and pushes inside her, slowly enough to make her cry out, to make her scream softly as Deanna watches.

She can still never get past thinking, for a split second, that this is Deanna's lover, will always be Deanna's lover, and there is still something that feels wickedly forbidden about having him like this.

Deanna laughs mischievously, still gently rubbing her taut nipple between two fingers. "What's mine is yours," she says, playful reprimand in her voice as Will thrusts deeper and Beverly Crusher can't believe she's this lucky, that they both want her like this.

"You are," Deanna whispers, leaning down to kiss her. "You're beautiful, Will wants you so much, as much as I do," and then she can feel it, that warm light under her skin that shines in Deanna's eyes. It builds, fast, so much faster than last time, fire flooding down her nerves and if there were a core breach in this instant she still couldn't look away -

"Shh, ithái, shhh it's okay, just relax." Light fingertips graze her skin, squeezing her breast; Deanna lowers her head, as Will fills her as deep as he can go and the sensations feed on each other, mix together, sinking deeper into her mind like liquid, burning silver down every nerve and finding that part of her self she barely knew existed until this. It feels hot and wonderful _oh god_ and she doesn't want it to end even though it almost hurts...

"Stop?" Deanna's voice shakes in her ear. "I don't want to go too fast..."

"No - don't-" _don't stop - please -_

"Don't let me hurt you," Deanna is close to pleading for it. "You're not used to this yet..."

She can't argue - she doesn't imagine ever being used to the feeling of Deanna making love to her the way Betazoids do. She only felt a flicker of it, only a few times at first, and she didn't mind, when she was still settling into the craziness of being with them and anything that intense would have made her run the length of the ship to get away. It didn't matter then if Deanna reached for Will's mind instead, especially since they're both too talented in other ways for their own good - or hers, fairly often. But then she fell in love, a lot harder than she expected, and considerate lovers wasn't enough when she could have so much more.

It's taken a lot of months to get this far, but it's all worth it. Years would have been worth it, because the first time she felt how much Deanna wants her... the first time she knew how much Deanna loves her... that was when she realised why Will learnt to speak Cyndri a lot of years ago, because the language they were both born with has nothing to do justice to the kind of sensations building in her head.

_Beverly..._

She gasps, softly, and her eyes snap open with the desperate need to find Deanna there, to see the look that will make it real, make it completely certain that she isn't imagining the incredible sensation in her mind.

Deanna smiles tenderly, dark fire in those endless black eyes, and she isn't. _Oh... oh, my god..._

She isn't. This is real. This is real, this - 'touch' isn't enough of a word...

Silken amusement ripples down her spine and it feels like Deanna, it feels...

_There don't need to be words, remember?_

_Oh god, Deanna..._

_I know, shh. Breathe._

Will shifts a little; she gasps, trying to obey and catch her breath, not sure if she's flying or drowning in this incredible mess of sensation, emotion, want and need - she never remembers it's this bright, this stunning, how _perfect_ it is, the overwhelming feeling of Will inside her body and Deanna inside her mind, tangling all three of them together.

_It's okay,_ she feels whispered through her thoughts, filled with a smile and a tenderness deeper than she's ever felt before. Slowly, almost laughed, but gentle and understanding enough that it can't make her uncomfortable. _It feels good?_

"Yes-" She can't breathe, still can't, doesn't care, it feels _so_ good...

Deanna fades from her mind, just a little in response to that; she cries out softly, her fingers digging into smooth skin in instinctive protest. _No, please_ "Deanna-"

"Hey." Will lifts his head a little, stroking her hair back. He's smiling. "I know it's hard to remember, but you do need air, hmm?"

"I didn't know..." She can barely swallow, her throat feels dry, her body trembling around his and thank god he's had enough experience of this to be able to hold on even when she looks up into his eyes. "My god, Will, I didn't know it feels like this."

"Are you okay?" He leans over her and she lets her eyes slip closed for a long second at the shift of him in her: the way he slips out just a little and then tugs her leg up a little more, pushes his hips forward, thrusts back into her and she moans.

"Oh..."

Will lowers his head and kisses her, grinning - she can feel it against her lips - as he asks again. "Beverly?"

"I'm fine," she whispers breathlessly, desperately. "Going insane, but fine."

He chuckles into her mouth. "Never goes away, y'know."

"Deanna," she's begging even as she kisses him, locks her hand behind his head and pulls him down, and he growls and thrusts slowly into her again. _Deanna?_

Fingertips graze her hip in sensual reassurance. Soft full breasts and tight nipples press against her own, making her breath catch in her throat again, and passion flares in the base of her skull at the deep hot presence in her head.

_Oh, I'm still here, ithái, believe me, you feel too good to leave alone._

Her throat tightens. _You're so beautiful, Deanna. This, it's..._

_I know,_ and Deanna lets her see that, more, like layers of an endless ocean, how it feels to be able to touch her like this: so incredible and bright that she can feel tears at the back of her throat, and so erotic that her skin burns with it, hands finding Deanna's skin and pulling her closer, fingers stroking down her back. Will lifts his head, kisses her briefly again, lingering for just a moment, and smiles into her eyes as he curls his fingers behind her knee and lifts her leg back over his own gently even though he knows she won't protest. Cool air on her sex makes her shudder around him, and then hot skin takes its place as Deanna presses closer, slim hips arching against hers.

_I need you._ She thinks the soft plea is meant just for her until Will leans over and Deanna turns her head blindly to meet his kiss, hungry and open, and Beverly finds his hand meeting her own on Deanna's thigh.

"Let me," she murmurs into his ear. Hot arousal floods into her thoughts; she can understand without words that Deanna wants them both, needs to share the pleasure rising between them as Will thrusts faster inside her.

_Yes, please, _please_, Beverly..._

The wanton desire filling that touch in her mind makes her breath shake. She slips her fingers into slick, wet heat and lowers her head to kiss Deanna's face, her neck, her shoulder, whispers half-coherently how she feels, how incredible this is, how erotic it is to do this -

\- and gasps as she eases two fingers inside, and Deanna arching into her hand fades into almost insignificance at _knowing_ how it feels. It's everything and more, sharing this, Deanna feeling the intensity of Will filling her as clearly as she feels the gentle stretch of her own fingers pushing inside Deanna's body.

Deanna smiles into her thoughts, breathless even without speaking. _I love you touching me... being inside me, you know I do..._

She pulls her hand back and adds another finger as she pushes back again; she can feel the soft ache of it as Deanna moans helplessly and arches against her, breaking away from Will's kiss. "Oh gods, Beverly..."

Will brushes his lips against her shoulder, the closest he can reach, and his hand tightens on her leg as he holds them both still just long enough to match his rhythm to hers. Then she thrusts her fingers into Deanna and Will thrusts sharply into her in the same moment, and _oh god oh my god ohmygodohmygod -_

"Will..." Deanna's voice shakes, desperate, reaching out until he takes her hand under his on Beverly's thigh. His other hand skirts down her stomach, and she gasps against smooth skin as his fingers find their target, dip down to the wetness where he's buried in her and brush the base of his cock as he pulls out, thrusts in harder with a growl that makes her skin tingle.

"Beverly... so good..." He drops his head and kisses her passionately as one fingertip finds her clit, and she cries out into his mouth and Deanna's mind at the burst of pleasure.

"Oh, oh" _oh, oh god yes Will so close, harder, do that harder-_

She isn't sure if Deanna hears her pleading and tells him, or if somehow Will can hear her in this mingling of thought. She doesn't honestly care. He rubs harder, that's all that matters, thrusts faster and groans and Deanna bucks hard against the back of his hand, and it takes all her concentration to hold onto the rhythm of this and not just give in to the pleasure burning through her.

Deanna shudders against her, clings to her and Will, and she rubs her thumb lightly against the side of Deanna's clit without waiting for the words that ask for it. Her head pounds with the intensity of it all - Deanna shaking, quiet cries buried in her shoulder as the first slow, intense orgasm floods through them both, coloring the link between them a hot white-silver - Will gripping her thigh, squeezing Deanna's fingers to her skin hard enough to bruise as he growls in release and she feels him come hard and long, a rush of wet heat inside her body, and a fast orgasmic burn somewhere in this mess of thought tangled around their lover's empathic mind.

"Beverly," he gasps out, trembling, in her ear, doesn't care how hard he pushes inside, and she cries out in return at the raw passion of it.

"Oh - god" _I love you,_ so glad that she doesn't need to make the distinction between them, that they know or don't care. "Deanna... ohhh... Will... Deanna..." Another wave of pleasure burns down her nerves and for the first time she really does not know if it's hers or Deanna's or if there's really a difference.

_Beverly... oh _gods_, don't stop, please..._

She doesn't stop touching, rubbing, fingers slipping in and out and so wet - she _can't_ stop, the need burns too hot/bright inside her to ever think about stopping. Will's fingertips still move on her clit with his cock still inside her, knowing she still needs him there, and it's only his hand on Deanna's on her thigh that keeps her to rocking her hips desperately as another orgasm takes her, not just writhing wildly on the bed under his continued onslaught.

_Not enough, oh, oh gods, not enough, not hard enough, _please_ I'm so close, ithái, imzadi, so close, just a little more-_

Deanna's plea is overwhelming with her senses so open and raw: she tugs Will's hand from her skin, moans deeply at the loss of him as he slips out of her and lets her move. But there is no thought now except _need, love, pleasure, want to give what you want..._ no thought at all but her lover as she pushes Deanna onto her back and slides down the bed.

Will moves above her; she catches a glimpse of his fingers between Deanna's holding her down, feels him offer his imzadi a hungry kiss and guide her shaking fingers to his hip, to stroke and scratch at his chest in desperation. She feels Deanna whimper as she withdraws her hand; smiles, touches that burning thread that holds them as she puts those same fingers between her legs and slips one fingertip inside, where she can still almost feel Will Riker inside her.

Deanna arches up from the bed in absolute, wild desire. _Ohhhh, Beverly._

_I couldn't want more than this,_ she whispers, the honest truth for them both to hear, and lowers her head.

Deanna's wet, so wet and swollen and gorgeously sensitive, whimpering at the first flick of just the tip of her tongue; she licks upward, as long and slow as she can, all but dragging the orgasm nearer with her tongue, and Deanna screams. _Beverly!_

Will grinning is a sudden heat at the very edge of thought. "Keep doing that," he says, and she doesn't have to look to see the glitter in his eyes. She curls her tongue around Deanna's clit again, hard and slow, and then glancing up - Deanna's head is thrown back helplessly against the pillows, Will reaching across her with his hand locked white-knuckled in hers and his teeth around one nipple as Deanna writhes under their attentions.

That kind of image can be too much already, without the endlessness of thought and feeling that fills her head. Now it's just madness. Coherent understanding falls apart into a rush of disconnected images and senses and feelings - Will's skilled mouth, biting hard, Deanna whimpering at the pressure; her own fingers on Deanna's hip and on her own clit, helpless to stop; Deanna's hand pressed back into the bed as she struggles against them, struggles with them all at once; the taste of Deanna wet and thick on her tongue; she's never thought much of her own abilities when it comes to this, but god, the way Deanna reacts...

The sound of a sob somewhere above her head when she sucks Deanna's clit into her mouth, and Will's voice, filled with arousal, murmuring through Deanna's gasps. "Imzadi... that's it, just like that... you're so beautiful, imzadi, _th'a lai mì'yuiel_, so beautiful when you come, let it go, we're here."

_Deanna, it's okay..._ She pushes three fingers all the way in, hard and deep, and Deanna cries out as she drops all control and finally comes - an incredible ecstasy that hits like a wave exploding through her mind and body, violent and sudden and beyond any kind of pleasure she's known anywhere else but here, between these two people. Deanna spasms tight around her fingers, her own body clenches around her other hand, Will groans and the world becomes just a hot white nothingness, hoarse screams of pleasure in the air and _I love you_ in her head... it does hurt, it feels so much more intense, but she doesn't care - because for a single moment the whole world is this, them, not even the dream of being separate, and she _is_ Deanna and Beverly and Will and she feels... god, everything, it feels...

_I never... _never_ knew I'd be loved like this... never even imagined..._

There's no real need to think about managing to crawl back up the bed, collapse against Deanna and kiss dark hair spread across her pillows; it all feels hazy, as if she's not sure which skin is hers. She isn't, entirely.

Deanna smiles _so happy, love you so much_ and pulls her close _stay here, don't move_ and she can feel a shudder at the caress of skin on skin, soft aftershocks that flare sparks of warmth behind her eyes. Will strokes his hand into her hair _feels good, huh_ and when he kisses Deanna softly she feels it tingle on her own lips _it's okay, don't worry about it_ and she never imagined she'd get used to this so easily, so that even as it starts to fade she knows the feeling of _I didn't want_ and how to say _it's okay, shh, it was more than worth it_ with just a smile.

Trembling fingers touch her shoulder, brushing her hair back as Deanna's eyes settle on hers. "Beverly?"

"It's okay," she says, again, surprised at still having a voice. Deanna smiles at that. Will grins sympathetically.

"Headache?"

Blood pounds in her ears, aching pain fading in as the pleasure relaxes. It isn't as if she can lie to either of them - he knows anyway, that's why he's asking. "I'll live, maybe."

"It'll be gone in the morning," he promises her with the confidence of a lot of prior practice. His fingertips stroke down the nape of her neck, gently, calming; she lowers her head onto Deanna's shoulder and concentrates on breathing. Deanna twitches at the tickle of warm breath on her skin, clenches her fingers a little.

_Beverly._

She grins, feeling giddy from the dull pain and the echo of pleasure, tips her chin a little and presses a kiss there instead. Deanna gasps softly. _Oh, don't._

"That's an evil woman we fell for," Will mutters in Deanna's ear. Deanna laughs.

"Mmm. I probably deserve it."

"You definitely deserve it," she has to say, smiling when the words send a shiver across Deanna's over-sensitive skin. She can still feel it, fainter than before but still there, and Deanna strokes a hand down her back in reassurance.

"Shh," _I'll stay until you're asleep, it's a little easier._

The thought of Deanna slipping from her mind might actually be more painful than the ache in her head. "What if I promise never to go to sleep again?"

That earns her two smiles: Will shifts a little to let Deanna roll over, placate her with a kiss and a gentle embrace. Suddenly sleep doesn't feel like the worst idea in the world, if she can do it here, pressed against Deanna with Will's arms around them both, the back of one strong hand against her stomach and the other still caressing her neck.

_I don't know if Deanna does something to make me feel like this; I almost don't care. Making love is exhausting anyway if it's done right, and with two people who definitely do it better than I've ever had..._

_Sometimes I wonder what Alyssa, or Selar, or anyone I'll brief tomorrow morning would think if they saw this. Sometimes I think about telling them - dropping it into the conversation, proudly or happily, or just letting loose that niggling impulse for a good morning kiss the first time either of them drop by (with a legitimate excuse, of course) and waiting for the explosion._

_I don't know that it would get back to Jean-Luc if I did. After all, Data and Geordi know. _Ro_ knows, and if she hasn't let on..._

"Go to sleep," Deanna murmurs, smiling. "Think about it in the morning."

She doesn't ask how they can both know what's worrying her, just sighs. "Do I have to?"

Deanna kisses her tenderly. "Not if you don't want to, no."

"Really?"

A soft, tired laugh. "I wish I could say that, Beverly, you know I do, but..."

"I know." It's been over a year, almost as long since she admitted that this is what she wants, Will and Deanna both, and she's only had one other secret from Jean-Luc for that long - one she doesn't care too much about telling him now, which is nothing like this.

_I'm still attracted to Jean-Luc, in some ways. It just doesn't matter. It wouldn't even matter if I did want to sleep with him, except that he'd never understand how that could work when I'd never want to give this up. Jean-Luc Picard has too much gentlemanly pride to understand this kind of freedom._

_Of course I'm a little jealous, when Will - or Deanna, very occasionally - gets distracted by the latest beautiful new ensign to transfer aboard. But jealousy isn't the point - I know they both want me, both love me. I know I can't lose this just because Will Riker's hormones make a beeline for an attractive young woman for a few hours. They've been used to this for a lot more years than I've been involved, after all, and I didn't think they could be happier._

_It is nice to be surprised once in a while._

Will tightens his fingers into a careful massage, and she hums in the back of her throat as some of the headache fades. "Mmm... that feels nice."

"Good." He smiles over Deanna's shoulder. "Dea's right, think about it tomorrow. Unless you're feeling like showing up at the Captain's quarters in the middle of the night looking like you just made love with two of his bridge officers?"

She laughs tiredly, rolling her shoulders pleasantly under his touch. "I look like that, do I?"

He flashes her a wicked grin, exhausted but satisfied. "You look a little ravished, yeah."

She laughs louder. "Well, I'm not the only one-" cut off by Deanna's fingertips sleepily pressed against her lips and a light caress in her mind.

_Be quiet and get some sleep._ Both _of you._

Will raises a silent eyebrow at her as he lowers his head and kisses Deanna's hair. Beverly smiles. After a few moments his hand stills, fingers spreading out to press his palm onto her skin - ever so slightly possessive, even more than that reassuring. That she belongs here, that for right now nothing matters but the three of them. She smiles wider, relaxes into his touch as she closes her eyes.

_There's a beautiful, exotic Betazoid woman half-asleep breathing a smile against my neck, and a spent, powerful male body wrapped around her making my skin tingle - so very Human and so completely Deanna's that with his eyes closed, he could be Betazoid just the same. I love her, I love him, she loves him and he loves her and he loves me and she loves me, all crazy enough that it makes perfect sense._

_'Jean-Luc, I've got something to tell you... it's about Will and Deanna.'_

_This is much better than how it was supposed to be._

  


*

  



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